You Should Know How to Do This: Peanut Butter

I’m all about shaming people who don’t know how to make really basic things OR who pay way too much money for things they could easily make at home. Today, I’m going to make you feel bad about peanut butter. It has four ingredients, and three of those are optional. This is how you get rid of that errant can of peanuts you have in your pantry.

The only non-optional ingredient is the peanuts, which is also optional if you decide to just buy some Jif instead.

I wanted to use up the cup of raw peanuts I found in my pantry (do not recommend), and I opted for kosher salt, grapeseed oil, and honey for flavor and texture. It’s really just a tiny bit of salt and maybe a teaspoon or two of honey per cup of peanuts. The oil part is a little trickier, which I’ll explain below. 

Get out your food processor (one of mayyyybe four or five kitchen things you actually should have; forsake your mango peeler and your slap chop or whatever), and put the peanuts in. Pulse a couple times. Now would be a great time to put in your honey and salt (if you’re using those; they’re optional). Pulse a few more times, then analyze your texture. 

Sometimes, when I make this, I don’t need any oil at all and I’m totally good to go. Other times, I need a little. You be the judge; you know what peanut butter looks like. If you need some, pour in about 2 teaspoons at a time, scrape the edges of the processor bowl, return the lid to that thing, and blend again. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat until you get your desired texture. Scrape it out into a bowl, and admire your handiwork. This stuff doesn’t really go bad, but it WILL separate, so make sure you stir it before you eat it unless you’re into that. 

Lord, peanut butter is so ugly.

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