Fantasy Life Update: The Hair Doughnut

I dream one day of acquiescing to all my eccentricities and becoming some hybrid of Helena Bonham Carter, Bjork, and Sailor Moon. Like, how great would it be to be able to say, “I let myself get so weird that only Matthew Barney/Tim Burton could credibly relate to me”? I only have a few steps left between that and now, and I think this hair doughnut is really going to push me closer to my goal of living in Hair Wars.

This can be yours for about $2.

This can be yours for about $2.

Oh, and is it every weird looking, or what? SO WEIRD LOOKING. It feels like a brillo pad. This lady right here will explain to you how to get your hair to this:

Flashdance tunic (oops) completely optional.

And then you have this enormous thing on top of your head and women/gay men think you look amazing and men leave you alone all the time because you don’t meet a lot of guys whose ultimate celebrity crush is Bjork, it turns out.

Am I insane for wearing this? Because I’ve been doing that a lot in the last week or two.

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One response to “Fantasy Life Update: The Hair Doughnut

  1. I think Bjork counts as aiming high on the eccentricity scale. I saw Drawing Restraint 9 exactly once, at least 5 years ago, and I still talk about how exquisitely strange it was. Also, this is sort of relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8RE0uD7T2w (Rasputina imagines a double date between PJ Harvey, Vincent Gallo, Matthew Barney, and Bjork.)

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