I’m out yonder, celebrating America’s birthday, but I got you these things to read over in my absence.
- Remarkably practical guide to stopping a wedding, both in advance, and The Graduate style.
- Wikipedia bios for every fake president of the United States of American, anyone?
- Finally, an answer to the eternal question: How on earth do professional basketball players miss free throws?
- Never not going to repost a Dolly Parton paean. She has been my patron saint since I was three and told my mom I wanted makeup and a microphone for Christmas so I could “be like Miss Dolly.”
- This is how color names came to be.
- What’s in Prince’s fridge?
- Finally: A Buzzfeed listicle that speaks directly to my latent xenophobia. Just in time for all the patriotic holidays of summer!
- Vintage pesticide paraphernalia reminds me of being a kid in Texas and screaming, “BUG DOPE!” to my friends so we could run inside when they trucks came to DDT the street.
- I’m terrible at Twitter, and my consistent “worse than guessing” record on this quiz proves that once and for all.
- This guy I dated in college tried to kiss me after winning a cherry pie eating contest (not a euphemism), and I wanted to die, so Neslie, girl, I feel you.