In the last couple weeks, I’ve gotten a couple pieces of great news for my freelance work. Little bitty ole Chronderlust led to my new column on the Hairpin, Ask A Fancy Person. and a job as the society reporter for Charleston City Paper. Someone passed that along to an editor at Cosmopolitan, and I had my first piece published there this week! I couldn’t be more excited about these fun things I’m getting to do and write about. Thanks so much for reading Chronderlust, and keep your eyes peeled for more of my writing around the web and in print! I wouldn’t get to do any of this if you weren’t reading this here.
After your bed, there is but one piece of furniture with which you have a real relationship, and that is your desk. I spend a solid 9.5-12 hours a day at mine, and yet I always avoid really committing. This week, I added three major things to make my mark on my open-plan office workstation: Suki the fake taxidermied rhino, courtesy of my best friend, a not-that-cool-but-kinda-cool organizer, and lastly, gorgeous, perfect flowers from Roadside Blooms here in Charleston. Their model is really cool: green, sustainable flower arrangements that are based on what’s available locally in any given season. You just say, “I’d like small, medium, or large” and they bring it to you in their vintage British mail truck. I know. I know! But the best part is that they were a surprise, all the way from Afghanistan! Nothing quite like a no-reason-at-all pretty to make you feel like everything is going great.
How do you personalize your desk at work? Pictures? A candle? A terrarium?
So on Saturday, my friend Courtney and I went to the 5th Annual Southeastern Beard and Mustache Competition. I don’t really have any words to describe the scene. Back me up, other attendees: the crowd was close to 600 maybe, the Holy City Beard and Mustache Society (REAL THING) raised a couple grand for uterine cancer research, and some truly inspiring/hideous/amazing/artful/horrifying/America-loving facial hair was on display. The ladies’ division was also a sight to behold. You haven’t really lived until you’ve seen an adult woman in a girl scout costume sporting a beard made of Samoa cookies. There was an entire category (junior full beard) of boys who basically looked like my own personal LLBean boyfriend.
Did you know that there’s like, a competition circuit for this stuff? Well, now you do. I can only describe the entire event as an exercise in unbridled glee.
Have you ever been to a mustache contest? Did you know there was such a thing? Have you entered one?! If so, please sign here guaranteeing you’re my best friend for life.
This is my ticket for the Kentucky Derby. Finish line, under the awning, in a box gifted to my amazing friend (who is bringing my lucky bones) by Kentucky Fried Chicken. I will never, ever sit in seats this good again. These are ungettably good seats. Can you tell I’m so excited I want to explode? BRING IT ON, OUT-OF-TOWNERS. Kentucky’ll show you how it’s done.
Friends, I have a lot of news for you. I’ve accepted a new position as the American South commissioning editor for the History Press, and I’m moving to Charleston, South Carolina in a few weeks to start my new job. I couldn’t be more excited– helping people write books about the South is absolutely my dream. I’ve never lived near the ocean, either, and I’ve always wanted to, so I anticipate a lot of time spent down at Folly Beach, too.
What does this mean for you? Well, I’m still eager to help you with any design work you want done, I’ll be blogging from 600 miles east of where I am currently, and I’ll be actively looking for people who want to write works of non-fiction. In short, it’ll be me with a different driver’s license (I KNOW.). I ask only for your patience in the coming weeks- things might slow down a little bit while I’m moving, but I’ll be back as soon as I can!
Do any of you know anyone in Charleston? Got any great recommendations or good leads? Want to write a book for me? Get at me. I’m excited about this new chapter and I’m grateful for your support.
I did all this stuff today and it was perfect. Did you get it from my hints?Additionally, I rode a carousel, but otherwise did not stray too far from Lou Reed’s intent. It was, indeed, a perfect day. Best $16 I’ve spent in a long time.
I am officially a resident of Kentucky again and I couldn’t be more excited. My hair is also excited to be at the welcome home party. When you move, may I recommend you move from a rural county to a rural county? I got this sucker in 4 minutes flat, including waffling over whether or not I should donate a dollar to some obscure cause like the nice lady asked.
It is my life’s dream to drive a muscle car. I made that dream a reality this weekend when I picked up my grandmother’s golden ’67 Camaro from storage a few hours away. This may or may not have resulted in my spending the night in a Motel 6 in Dale, Indiana, but I think it was worth it. I think I look right foxy behind the wheel of this sucker. One day. One. Day.
Y’all, this is me.
So, I went to Los Angeles for a brief vacation to see friends and family, and while I was there, I remembered that someone had told me Richard Simmons still taught his own class in his own studio and that it was a mere $12.
And that, my friends, is a truth. Richard Simmons is a force of nature, and I barely survived to tell you this: that class is hard. Really. Hard. Also, Richard Simmons is in on the joke about the spandex. Also, Richard Simmons has held my ponytail, and no, that is not a euphemism.
My friend Lauren and I went sort of as a joke, and it definitely started that way. Brother just walked in and kissed everyone and sparkled and was generally buff in our direction. Then the music started.
AND OH GOOD GOD DO I WANT RICHARD’S APPROVAL. He is NOT handing it out, either. He ran us around that exquisite hardwood floor for 90 minutes, telling people to move their asses. FASTER. HIGHER. HARDER. On a water break, Lauren and I decided all we had to do was not be the absolute worst, which we achieved. I think.
Anyway, at the end, we were all tasked to “gather some steam and chase our dreams” which sounds corny but I was so into it. Then Richard informed us that the only acceptable place for a Kit-Kat was up our asses and let us go home.
Sweaty and grateful, I went out for a cupcake.