So, on the one hand, oh, my god, can you even imagine being as strong as this tiny child? Or as good at moving your body and face around? Or as good at singing songs? On the other hand, does anyone else feel like the flesh-colored leotard really, really toes the creep line? Share your thoughts below.
Here are some things to read so that you’ll have something insightful and meaningful to take to brunch.
- Girls who park in cars with boys aren’t really popular.
- Turns out, you probably do know how to make meth after watching all that Breaking Bad. They have a real-life consulting organic chemist for that ish.
- Here’s how to open a champagne bottle with a sword, you know, for the next time you need a mimosa while astride a horse.
- The real question this article posits is “how would YOU better squander $100 million?”
- Maybe you were wondering about Filipino seamen’s junk. Wonder no more. I can’t believe this is still a practice, in this, the 21st century.
- Stop eating food.
- This is seriously a business model I have considered and I’m so upset someone beat me to it.
- Last week, I realized that some people probably confuse my enthusiasm for Southern culture for some kind of pathetic neo-Confederate sympathy, and that made me really sad. Turns out I’m not the only person who feels like that.
- Alternate title: Some good tips for flying and several ways to be a complete and utter jerk (you are not very important, okay?).
- I do love a good story of successful social climbing.
As your friends pair off, some of them are going to pick better partners than others. I know this is a joke an all, but this it’s rock-solid advice for how to not say something you don’t mean, but not be a jerk, either.
I kind of forgot about this video, and then remembered the unbridled joy it brought me. Not ENTIRELY SFW, depending on whether or not everyone you work with is completely humorless.
This week is going to be great, and this biscuit dance is here to prove it.
I’m too exhausted by the events of the past few days to even attempt a pithy headline, so here are your links for Sunday:
- Though the list starts with a tip from noted racist/the subject of my master’s thesis, every one of these 100 best cooking tips is rock solid.
- Being gay in Belarus, a case study.
- McAfee teaches you how to uninstall his software from your laptop. This is, somehow, hilarious and NSFW.
- “U mad?” — the NSA.
- The rent is too damn high!
- A Major League Divorce.
- If you’re like about 1/3 of my friends, you’re getting married in the next year. Slate has a great roundup of wedding anecdotes, and somehow it reminds you that you’re totally fine and still married regardless of how the deed gets done.
- Just click this. It’s really pretty.
- He lost me when he tried to act like wood paneling on a station wagon was a bad idea, but hashtags: harm or help?
- When domestic violence results in a mass shooting, where does that leave law enfocrement?
- I love Neruda AND a good conspiracy theory, so this scratches all the itches.
The music is pretty terrible, but please enjoy this somehow-mood-elevating four minute video of people completing physiologically unlikely acts.
I’ve never really been that interested in watching sports, but when I do, it’s never about a team or any kind of narrative; I truly love watching people do incredible things with their bodies and pushing the outer limits of what they can do.